DNF Recovery
After nearly 25 years of racing, my first DNF (Did Not Finish) was difficult, as one might expect. The race (2021 Leadville 100) was hard, obviously, but the DNF was mentally and emotionally difficult. The want – the need – to get back to Leadville was intense. My anxiety has been a little higher in general since COVID began, so this was just another linebacker on the pile. I knew that I could do it – if only I hadn’t gotten hurt (short story is that I severely strained the peroneal tendon in my right foot). Water under the bridge… except I didn’t let the water flow naturally. I didn’t take off as long as I should have initially, for various reasons – one of which was my concern for losing too much of the fitness I had worked so hard to gain during the last year. I started running again a little last Fall, sporting a light ankle brace for stabilization, then took a little more time off before the holidays as well. More on this later…
Lottery
Despite the lingering injury, there was no doubt I was signing up for the Leadville lottery again. Even if I couldn’t run, I could at least defer and save my spot for 2023. So, I put my name in the hat. My gut said I wouldn’t get in, but I remained hopeful at first. As time before the lottery drawing inched along, hope was overtaken by doubt. By the time January rolled around, I was super anxious, and I was pretty confident that I wouldn’t be selected. Finally, January 12th came – my gut was right for once. Go figure.
I struggled emotionally for a few days, ranging from down and cranky to feeling lost and restless. Courtney helped talk through things, and we considered my options. The likelihood of me placing high enough in my age group (which is still one of the most competitive) at one of the series races earlier in the summer was quite low. There was a slight chance of my number being drawn after one of those races for a coin (like a Willy Wonka golden ticket), but I didn’t know if I could start training and hang on to that hope for several more months. I had never raised money for a charity to race; asking people to donate money makes me uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I emailed the few charities that had remaining spots and didn’t have any luck initially. I was feeling pretty bummed.
First Descents
I joined the wait list for a couple of charities. I ended up not waiting long – just a week after the lottery, I received a message that there was a spot on the team raising money for First Descents! I couldn’t have been happier: out of the handful of charities, this one was the closest to my heart. Not only did I get a second chance at Leadville, I had a chance to support a very meaningful cause. I created my fundraising page that same day and started working on both a training plan and a fundraising plan. The goal (and requirement to race) was $3500. After sharing via emails and social media, I raised almost $900 within a week, and nearly half the goal amount within two!
Spring Training
Before I ramped things up, I figured I better make sure that there wasn’t something more serious going on with my foot. An MRI showed only some residual inflammation, so I started working with a physical therapist in February and got to work. I hurt my left leg when I slipped on a jungle trail in Kaua’i, which actually gave my right foot an extra, unplanned week off. The swelling in my left leg lasted much of the trip, but I was able to run without difficulty upon returning home.
Things improved. Slowly. It was really frustrating at times, but I also realized that any improvement while trying to train for a 100-miler was a win.
I was registered for the Skidaway Island Marathon near Savannah, Georgia (March 19th). I planned a walk/run and walked much more the second half than the first; my foot did fairly well overall, and I managed to finish state #32 in 4:21. An up-and-down stretch of training followed Skidaway. The week after a long 5-hour, 21-mile Quad Rock course preview with Neal and Ben up at Lory State Park, my right shin started to bother me a bit. May 7th was Quad Rock (25-miler); my right shin/foot mostly behaved during the race. The heat (temps reached the 80s) wore me out for the last third of the race, but with the help of another runner and LMNT, the cramps that made it hard to even walk ultimately subsided, and I made it to the finish in 6:18.
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| With my sister and dad before Skidaway |
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| Gingerly heading downhill at Quad Rock (credit: Orea Media) |
Rocky Trail Ahead
After Quad Rock, I graduated to a lighter-weight stability brace, but the damage had already been done. The brace (and very thin posting wedge I had been wearing to reduce strain on the peroneal tendon) helped me run, which was great. However, that meant I was not only pronating more (from the wedge), my ankle mobility – dorsiflexion in particular – was also being restricted. Cue shin splints.
After 3 weeks of off-and-on running, I decided just before Memorial Day that I should just take a break and give the shin a good, long rest. Better to take time off now than to risk further injury or downtime leading up to Leadville. I tried a short run after 2 weeks off, on our trip to Portugal; it didn’t go quite as well as I had hoped, so I decided it needed more time. We had a great trip, but I brought home an unfortunate souvenir.
Round 3 of COVID knocked me down pretty hard – way rougher than round 2, though not as bad as Round 1 (pre-vax). Silver lining: another week off benefited the shin. I eased back into it the first week post-COVID, but by the second weekend, I added in a pretty solid 4.5-hour long run. The following weekend, I did a run/hike of Mount Massive – second highest peak in Colorado and the highest I’ve ever been on foot. That went surprisingly well, and I decided then that I was “all in” for Leadville.
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| At the top of Mount Massive |
Home Stretch
The first long run after deciding I was “all in” didn’t go so well... On July 16, I ventured out onto the CDT via Herman Gulch – one of my favorites, especially when the columbines are in full bloom! On the way back down from Jones Pass, my ankle/posterior tib started to hurt quite a bit. The pain eased up before finishing the run, but it was very frustrating and confusing. I also noticed a small bruise at the very bottom of my shin, though not sensitive to the touch. Anxiety reigned again over the next week until I joined a few buddies for a Hope Pass “Double” (Strava) the following Sunday. Despite the foot’s bout of PTSD as I neared the top of the pass on the way out, it went surprisingly well overall and was a huge confidence booster.
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| Hope Pass "Double" with the guys in July |
Various doubts filled my mind throughout training, and I was anxious about many things. Was I fooling myself? Would I be in good enough shape with the reduced training? What if I couldn’t finish again? Would injuries and niggles force another DNF? Was I fooling my FD donors? I felt like I would be letting a lot of people down if I couldn’t make it… my friends and family who supported this journey and First Descents with their donations (only to watch me fail again?); my crew and pacers, some of whom would be traveling across the country; my wife; myself…
Anxiety gave way to excitement. Excitement became nerves. Nerves steered me back to being a big, chaotic swirl of emotions. Through all of it, I somehow still felt prepared. My bins were packed: one for fuel, one for gear/medical, one for clothing. Drop bags were stuffed; race plan was set. I visualized the day (and night).
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| Drop bag prep before heading to Leadville |
On Friday morning, thanks to Neal, Vicki and I had the opportunity to meet and run with Travis Macy, “Dream Chaser” Rodrigo Jimenez, and a few others. It was a little faster and longer than I planned for my shakeout run, but I didn’t want to miss out! The day was both a blur and an eternity.
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| Sunday morning visions |
Next up: Part II - Race Day
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